Just Keep Swimming

just keep swimming

Chemo brain struck again. Yes, chemo brain is a real thing and I have been adjusting to this new reality. I forget things. I walk into rooms and can’t remember why I am there. Conversations apparently get repeated. Too many people talking confuse me. Usually I can shrug it off. Sometimes I get really frustrated or down about it and sometimes I laugh. This week, chemo brain made me laugh again. This time, it was about my underwear. On Tuesday, my underwear felt strange, but then again, pretty much everything on my body feels strange these days. So, I just tried not to think about it and figured it was just one of those weird texture things that happens to me that has been known to make me change my clothes 6, 7, 8 times until they “feel right” and this has gotten worse with each chemo treatment. My skin feels strange… very dry and papery and it cuts and bruises easy. I have to be careful with how tight things are on my surgical arm due to lymphodema (another fun side effect…). I like being in soft clothes. But Tuesday, I had things I wanted to do so I , I just kept “swimming” like Dory. Until I got undressed. The strange feeling was my own doing and because I was stubborn and didn’t try to make it feel better, I spent the entire day with my underwear on backwards. Yup. Good going, Julie Ann. Thank you chemo brain.

It’s so easy to question everything about how my body feels. The chemo brain side effects have me doubting seemingly normal things. Or not doubting when I should. At least it was good for a laugh when there haven’t been enough funny moments in the past few months. So if you see me out and about and my shirt is on backwards or my shoes don’t match or I seem confused, please just tell me to “Keep Swimming”… it’ll be our secret.

2 thoughts on “Just Keep Swimming

  1. How I appreciated your new post! THANK YOU! (I’ve done the same thing – without excuse (of any kind!)

    Tell me, “Is there such a thing as “Chemo-Eye”, where you see things as you never quite saw them before?” Or, do you think that’s made-up? Just wondering….. Yesterday, Dick and I had a ‘taste of Nirvana’ being with Annie and Bill (on Monhegan!). That was a wonderful treat for the soul!

    Tomorrow, Dick and I go home again to Calvary UMC in Lewiston; but what a gift to have worshipped TOGETHER last Sunday!

    Prayers and heartfelt hugs, Ruth


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