Last night I was cold so my electric blanket was on high and I had an extra fleece blanket on top of me. I put on a winter hat on that someone had knitted me as well as an extra heating pad on my “foobs” (they get crazy cold – something I knew nothing about before my breast reconstruction and the joys of winter tempearatures).
We were having a snow storm with temperatures expected to drop very low. I got warm and snuggly in bed, ready to watch some mindless Netflix and then WHAM – a hot flash. Truth be told, before bed, it had been a hard night of them. I lost count, but I had something like a dozen since dinner. And then I got cold. Chilled to the bone as they say.
These hot flashes are just one of the fun side effects of my chemo and the drugs I now take everyday to prevent (hopefully) the cancer from spreading. Going into immediate menopause with no gradual transition has been well, not fun. For someone who was always cold before, I thought hot flashes would be a welcome relief, even maybe a blessing to my forever cold hands and feet. How naive. There really hasn’t been much that I’d call a relief or a blessing about cancer and hot flashes definitely didn’t fit into that category…Until last night.
So as the hot flash became more intense and I felt like I couldn’t breathe and everything in my head was pounding, I threw off my comforter and then the sheets…and then my socks…and my pjs. (Sorry, if this too much information but it’s true and that’s my promise with this blog.) I went to get an ice pack (well, frozen corn) out of the freezer and held it to my forehead. Not enough relief. So I opened the bathroom window to get a blast of cold air and it worked. I could breathe again.
And then, I realized I could hear the ocean and I was instantly at peace. My head quieted down and I could just breathe in the cool air while listening to the quiet roar of the surf. Storms always make it easier to hear the ocean from my house. Suddenly I was so thankful for that moment of an extreme hot flash. I would have gone to bed without hearing one of my favorite sounds.
Thank you, Hot Flash #13+ for that blessing. Now, can you just please stay away for a few hours tonight so I can get some sleep, keep my clothes on and leave the corn in the freezer? I promise to open the window to listen for the ocean before I crawl into bed.
If you are not near the oean, listen for 30 seconds and enjoy the blessing of the surf.
Sweet dreams. Breathe.
Up next, a guest blogger will be continuing the “Stories behind the Scars” series…and a Julie Ann blog that has been in the works for a few months. Until then, enjoy a Mug Up with someone. Send your pictures and tell us what you Mug Up about!
~Mug Up Mermaid